What Do Chinese Women Like in a Partner?

Although patterns of partner preferences in relationship to gender and nationality have been observed among Chinese youth, little is known about such attitudes and expectations.

To gain some insight, I interviewed several women including fashion designer Chen; fitness influencer Giselle Hou and her friend Weiya Zhang who host their bi-weekly vlog; and Fiona, who has dated men from all over the world.

Sense of Humor

A good sense of humor is important for Chinese women. They want to find someone who can make them laugh and is able to joke around. However, they also expect their partner to respect their culture and its values. You should avoid jokes that are offensive or could hurt their feelings.

Chinese people have long admired wit and cleverness. The earliest “humorists” were court jesters who by farfetched analogies steered their masters away from folly. Later, Taoist distrust of brute force led to a cultivation of strategic ploys. China’s earliest humorous writing, such as the Records of the Historian, contains records of clever stratagems designed to cheat the weak and put one over on the strong.

Moreover, the wry humor of Chinese literature is often dark and cynical, reflecting the dreadful economic prospects faced by many. For example, the poet T’ao Yiian-ming once wrote that upon resigning a petty post in order to devote his time to more serious pursuits, he “would not bend his back for five bushels of rice.”

The modern Chinese sense of humor is influenced by the Confucian emphasis on social propriety. In particular, it is considered impolite to embarrass a person in front of others. This may explain why many modern Chinese comedians eschew humor that is crude or sexual, and instead employ a subtler style.

In addition, a growing number of young Chinese citizens are under financial pressure and face a bleak future. The need for a modicum of relief from stress makes lighthearted comedy popular among this group. For example, they may chuckle at a sarcastic quip about their dead-serious Communist cadres, even though these remarks might have the potential to offend their parents or elders.

Yang Li, a female comedian who became famous during the male-dominated stand-up competition Rock & Roast last year, is a notable example of this trend. Her mockery of men has given China’s burgeoning feminist movement a new language and won her as many fans as enemies. Despite this, some traditional Chinese men remain wary of supporting gender equality. Nevertheless, the more Chinese youth educate themselves, the greater the numbers who support this cause.

Filiality

Chinese culture places a high value on filiality. The concept of filiality is based on the Confucian principles of respect for elders and ancestors. It is also rooted in the notion of filial duty and obedience to one’s parents. While the principle of filiality exists in many cultures, it is particularly prevalent in Chinese society. This cultural belief is reflected in a number of behaviors and attitudes that are unique to China.

Early filial piety research relied on dispositional methods to examine the relationship between this phenomenon and other psychological traits or behaviors. These studies focused on identifying and measuring an individual’s attitudes toward Chinese norms in order to relate them to their behavior. However, this approach poses a problem when trying to compare filial piety across different cultures. In order for a phenomenon to be considered a psychological universal, it must have the same relationship with other traits or behaviors across cultures.

The first problem with these early studies is that they framed the concept of filiality in terms of social norms. This means that they assumed that those who did not endorse these norms were less filial. Therefore, they may have overlooked some of the more subtle aspects of filiality. For example, some scholars have noted that filial piety involves a balance between the two aspects of obligation and affection. Thus, those who endorse these norms are likely to be more attached to their parents but they also understand that they have an obligation to care for their parents.

In addition, researchers have emphasized the importance of intergenerational solidarity in determining the degree to which individuals endorse filial piety. In other words, individuals who believe that taking care of their elders is a moral duty are more likely to show a greater sense of filial piety than those who do not (Song and Wang, 1999).

While the first generation of filial piety research was influenced by Western perspectives and theories, subsequent research has moved away from these traditional assumptions. For example, Khalaila (2010) developed the first filial piety scale for Arab-Israeli culture using items from Kao and Travis’ (2005) Hispanic filial piety measure, as well as some new ones that would reflect motives and content specific to the cultural context. By conceptualizing filial piety as a contextualized personality construct, this research demonstrates the possibility of establishing a functional universal for this trait.

Good Appearance

For many Chinese women, good looks play a crucial role in finding a husband and starting a family. The ideal beauty standard in China is based on ancient Taoist and Confucian notions of female virtue and talent. Outer beauty was believed to reflect inner beauty, and this notion has influenced the creation of Chinese beauty standards.

This obsession with appearance is also reflected in the way Chinese women spend an average of one hour each day on their skin and use a variety of diet products. Some would even undergo cosmetic surgery to look their best. The same is true of their values: a large number of young Chinese women value being praised for their beauty and would like to be married to a handsome man.

In this context, it is important to understand the nuances of Chinese beauty norms. For example, a woman’s facial features are not considered beautiful without the presence of a double eyelid, which is a small flap of skin that covers the eye. According to a study, between 17-32% of Chinese people lack this crease and have a monolid appearance, which is considered unattractive. Many Chinese girls and women go through a surgical procedure called blepharoplasty to have a double eyelid, while others choose less-permanent options such as using a type of rigid transparent stickers that create a crease on the upper lid.

Other factors that are regarded as attractive include small eyes, a long nose, and a narrow jaw. These features are often referred to as the “first love face” and represent purity and innocence. A small frame is also seen as attractive, particularly for women. In addition, a fair complexion is considered to be the epitome of beauty.

When asked what qualities they prefer in a partner, most Chinese women reported that good looks were the most important. In contrast, other qualities such as kindness and caring showed a weaker association with wanting to date more frequently.

The emphasis placed on the appearance of a Chinese woman is also evident in the social media trends that emerge from the country. For instance, the recent Uniqlo skinny challenge has sparked criticism as an unhealthy obsession with thinness among young Chinese women. The challenge involves wearing a slim T-shirt and wrapping it around the body to show off a small waist, which is typically about the width of an A4 piece of paper.

Sense of Security

It is important to understand that Chinese women value stability and the safety of a relationship. This is because their culture places a high importance on family and tradition. They also believe that happiness in a relationship can be achieved through mutual trust and respect. So, when dating a Chinese woman, it is important to show her that you care about her and are devoted to her. This will help her feel secure in your relationship and build a sense of trust between you.

Aside from the desire for a sense of security, Chinese women also value practical qualities such as economic prospects and appearance. They are more likely to prefer a partner who is caring and considerate of others than those who are selfish or rude. Moreover, their desire for practical qualities is also positively associated with their willingness to have sex on the first date. This may be due to the fact that sex on a first date is viewed as a more tangible breech of traditional standards.

While the above is generally true, it should be remembered that all Chinese women are unique. Their personalities and characteristics vary depending on their upbringing, social status, and background. For example, a Shanghai girl may be more feisty than one from a small town. Also, some Chinese women prefer a more passionate love than others. This type of love is typically characterized by the physical expressions of affection like holding hands, kissing and hugging.

However, it should be noted that these preferences do not necessarily mean that she will not want a long-term relationship with you. In fact, some Chinese women do want a serious relationship, but they may be more cautious than Western girls when it comes to making a commitment. It is also important to note that some Chinese women will only consider a relationship seriously if it is exclusive and monogamous.

Despite these differences, it is clear that many Chinese women share similar interests and values in their partners. This makes it easier for Western men to connect with them and find a compatible match.